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Dear Families,

I have over 20 years experience as an early childhood educator. Parents, caregivers and first year teachers need to know that children and parents can and will separate. I say this with the utmost confidence because I have never known a child (or parent) not to separate! There are many things that parents and caregivers can do before a child even begins his or her first day at school. If a child is encouraged to play independently at home then the process will not be jarring. Why? Because the child is used to his or her own company and feels secure to explore.

There have been a number of studies done on attachment theory. The findings point to the notion that a child will feel secure and display confidence when he or she is given the room to explore, discover and make mistakes. The inference being that if your toddler is treated like an infant, then he or she will behave like one. It can be wise to stop literally and figuratively spoon feeding your child.

I can't emphasize enough that toddlers need to see and experience that mommies, daddies and caregivers may go away, but they always come back! Each time a parent returns, the child learns to trust in this experience. Making a big deal about returning and giving reassurance helps to move the process along.

Consistency is key…your child will know exactly what to expect. It can be disconcerting for any child to expect one thing and then get another. If there is a change in plans, which can't be avoided, then give your child a heads-up. Big surprises often lead to big meltdowns.

I created the game, Let's Go To School, the book, Mommy Always Comes Back, and the songs to get children excited about wanting to go to school while reassuring them that mommy will come back! There is a page for parents as well. Included are a multitude of separation articles and a support group. I hope you find comfort in knowing that you are not alone. Please reach out to others if you want or need to - there are people in the community who are there to offer support. Most importantly, please try to remain positive and remember that your child can and will separate!

All the best,
Penny